#NotJust Laughter: Why We Should Not Forget to Laugh More
Reflections on the underappreciated power of laughter and humour, and how it can make us freer and fuller; and our lives more whole and meaningful
Hello Dear,
Hope you are doing well. Tell you what, just now I was sitting and laughing to myself when my wife who is sitting beside me enquired about the reason for my laughter. When I told her that I was laughing upon reading something I myself have written, she said, “wonderful…”. 😊 This has happened quite a few times in the past, you know.
Yes, writing regularly and sharing our thoughts with the world - even and especially if no one is reading or listening - can be an immense source of joy and fulfillment, as long as we are being true or striving to be true in sharing our reflections. Or so I think. Why do I say especially if? Hope this brief piece of reflection will clarify that.
[Beginning of a short piece of reflection I wrote in June 2023]
One of the greatest sorrows of life is that of not being understood. It is perhaps our biggest shared poverty.
Well...I am thinking it is #NotJust that! It is also one of the biggest blessings and riches of Life!
We can't be really happy unless we are truly deeply not understood, maybe unless we are grossly misunderstood.
[End of the short piece of reflection I wrote in June 2023]
I am happy to note that one friend and fellow IIS officer, upon reading the above reflection, messaged me that my writing is so liberating! 😊 And yes, we have talked about this theme to some extent in the following article.
So, coming back to my laughter upon reading my own writing, as a senior IIS officer (Shri Dhiraj Singh) told me a few months ago when he was encouraging me to start writing a book or a blog, one of the benefits of writing is that it provides us a window into how and who we were in the past, and how we have evolved since the time we have penned down those reflections. Yes indeed, at the same time, I am thinking that this could also show us how little we have changed in certain ways over the years - how certain parts of us have been and may even shall be the same.
So, as I recalled in one of the previous posts, I am grateful to Dhiraj Sir for nudging me - for gently pushing me over the cliff - into the world of this #NotJust Newsletter which I have chosen to call One Doubt Please.
Writing Online
Now, speaking of writing, a fellow officer messaged me a few weeks ago, saying that “I wish I had such writing skills”, asking for some tips on improving both writing and speaking skills. While I told her I hope to write an article on this, I could not do that yet. So, let me suggest a few resources below (while I myself am yet to check out these, I am sure these are good, or very good!).
I hope that sharing these with you will encourage me too to check these out and benefit from them. And yes, you can follow the above authors on social media, such as on Twitter (X).
The Best Medicine
Ok, coming back to where we started, writing about my laughter reminded me just now that I had given a full-fledged presentation on laughter, 10 years ago, as part of my IIS Training.
Here are some questions I posed at the presentation, as food for thought:
When did you first laugh?
How many times in a day do you laugh?
Why do you love to laugh?
How many person-minutes of laughter do you generate everyday?
Why do some / most of us laugh at others?
You know, there are three traditional theories about what we find humorous
The incongruity theory
The superiority theory
The relief theory
Read more about these theories here. And yes, read about the philosophy of humour here, at the Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy.
Speaking of laughter, here is a YouTube Channel which a dear one likes and watches frequently. It is called Just for Laughs Gags.
Fine then, let me now share an article I wrote almost exactly 20 years ago, in October 2003, when I was a student at IIT Kharagpur. I hope you are able to find some occasion for laughter in reading this, including in my sarcasm against myself😊; almost everyone who read this did indeed find it to be so. As you read this, please note that “hall” in IIT Kharagpur parlance means hostel.
[Beginning of an article I wrote in October 2003, during my student days at IIT Kharagpur]
At 11:19 PM
One might wonder what could possibly happen at this time of the day - or rather night - that could qualify as something worth putting down; another one may wonder what could NOT possibly transpire at this auspicious moment - when the owl is up and the innocent souls have entered the world of sweet dreams, thereby inadvertently giving an opportunity for the 'wicked' beings or studs to do what they may choose to choose....
Sentences getting too long?? - Yes, that is why they are gonna be short - they cannot be otherwise through the phone, right? I was coming after calling home - my own dear dear mother - to intimate her about my impulsive plan to run home that night- as if answering a call of nature. The Puja vacation had already been half over, and were I to go home, I had better gone earlier - according to my well-meaning mother (and any sensible person I hope). However, being credited as well as discredited with the distinction of thinking differently, for me, the vacation was still half left, and 42 hours of train journey in an overcrowded general compartment was nothing but nothing more...however, my mother being habitually dissatisfied with this expedition of mine (and already having issued many 'last warnings' against this 'heroic' feat), was most reluctant to give me an opportunity to grant her the vision of her beloved son landing home with swollen limping legs....so I was expecting her to call me back - when I would pronounce my final decision....
The phone at the security counter of my hall rang.... a female indeed it was, but not Amma.... she asked for Abhijit Sinha - room no: B-312..- in a voice with a degree of smart politeness that can be exceeded only by a good-looking receptionist at a five-star hotel. Keeping up with the sacrosanct tradition of RP hall (as well as my personal etiquette), I told her that she may please call after 10 minutes...and being lazy enough to contemplate myself climbing the stairs, I asked the security guard to call the guy...he humbly refused since he happened to be a neophyte (in this activity of snoring from midnight till dawn) - left with no alternative, I pulled my towering body up the stairs.... and lo!!!
To my delight and surprise (as well as a sense of vicarious sympathy towards the voice over the phone), I discovered that the room B-312 was missing!!! i.e., the rooms 311 and 313 are very much there (both being corner rooms of adjacent wings), but the mid-point is devoid of any other room....I beamed with a sense of suppressed excitement over my serendipitous exploits…but I did not give up hope; my immaculate heart yearned for the good-old lady at the phone..(I have vicariously experienced very well the agony of a mother longing to hear her son's voice).
I dared to disturb the dreams of the boy in 311.... yes he opened the door…on asking for 312, he declared - after a brief examination for himself - that 312 does exist!!! - but is the toilet ...oh...my perspicacious eyes had not beholden that spectacle...well, that is even more enchanting (what a wing this is - this phenomenon is apparently absent in any other wing) as well as soothing - at least, 312 is not a non-entity.... better a toilet than nothing.... after all, it is the predominant abode for studs and non-studs alike - the abode where all the purgation is done on a daily basis...and yes, I also asked the boy for anyone by the appellation "Abhijit Sinha"...but no, no one....woh…we have a small mystery at hand....for which there could exist multiple solutions - but none of them at a visible distance of perceptibility...
Downstairs my heart led my body.... the phone had already been ringing - as if she anticipated my advent by some telepathic effect - I took the receiver with characteristic hesitation…since I would have to announce the unbelievable...
Doubtless, it was she...I told her hesitantly,
"Well, actually, you see, there is no one here by name Abhijit."....
"You see, I am not a fool to make a blank call at this time of the night, you see"...
"Fine, fine...but he is not here…I mean, he is not there..."
"What do you mean? "
"Yes ma'am, there is no one by that name here"...
"Oh Com'mon, he is a second year student of the Dept. of Metallurgy"...
"Fine, fine, but he is not in the room you told.... actually, I am sorry to say that...the room B-312 does not exist..."....
"What...are you joking ???"
""No, not at all, I am pretty serious...actually...the room B-312 is a toilet..."...
"Watttt?? What are you saying ? You making fool of me ?"..
"No, I told you I am serious."
Then, I went on to explain the disposition of the "room" B-312...sandwiched between two wings - locked like a small listless child between the eternal embrace of the parents 311 and 313.
I concluded the results of my discovery "...I cannot help it you see..."
Then her voice assumed a more serious tone...."You see, I need to get Abhijit Sinha ...It is really urgent...please call him..."
"Com'mon, I have told you the situation..."
Presently, she burst into a laughter..."OK, ok, wait a moment...isn't this IIT Kharagpur??"...
Quite confidently and delightedly, I replied..."Yes, yeaaaaaaas...."..
"RP hall?? "
"Yes, yes..."
"And Abhijit Sinha, Room no: B-312?""
"Yes, that too is right...”
"Then, ARE ... you kidding?"
Suddenly, an idea flashed through my mind - as if digged out from the sacred recesses of my mind whose intuitive powers are renowned to be par excellence.... I reassured her "OK, ok ...let us do one thing…I shall get some second year ...and he will be able to tell where Abhijit is, if he is there…maybe he has changed his room...."...
"Ya, he might have changed his room.... he gave me this number 2 months back"....
(What a lady she is...she should have told this earlier...)
"Oh, then it is ok...actually second-years have changed their rooms some time back, you see...so you please call after 10 minutes..."
"Ok...can you tell me your name?? " ...I sensed that would be to add weight to my words...to increase believability....
I answered with aplomb and pride " Sure, I am Dheep Joy...- a final year student"...
"Ok.... I am Adhiti"...
"Ok fine...are you his mother? " (That was my tacit assumption - the default possibility...at least for my innocent mind - that could not conceive of girl-friends and all that at least at that moment)...
Her voice buzzed at me..."MOAUTHER ???? You think I am his MOTHER ?? "
"Oh...then you might be his elder sister...?""..
but she reiterated...
"Oh God...Mother???...is my voice that bad??"
"Oh ...no…not really...ya...I did not think of your voice...."...
"Oh...SHIT..."
It seemed that she did not want to give up - and that ‘holy’ word 'shit' convinced me that she is no mother...rather, it appeared to me that she wanted me to ask more about herself.... and her voice.... she would have wanted me to adulate her and her voice - as if she is the paragon of womanhood and the exclusive possessor and epitome of the gift of the tongue....
To the hell...I was in no mood to bolster her ego - already she had encroached so much upon my precious time and bottled up energy...and besides my mother would call any moment...and over and above that, my pride and self-respect did not allow me to cater to the feminine instincts of a girl calling a boys' hostel at near mid-night....
"OK, ok.... you better call after 10 minutes..."
"Oh ok, you will be there? "
"Oh sure...I am waiting for my call", I answered half-satirically and sarcastically and of course seriously too, as indeed I was waiting for my call....
She seemed satisfied with that.... and apparently kept the phone…or maybe, I kept it before her.... whatever it is, the conversation ended there...
Up my compassionate heart (as I 'knew' that she made a genuine call, whatever her reactions were...) pulled me.... - to Jayakanth - a very well informed second year...he was awake thankfully.... I called him and narrated the curious turn of events.... he too was obviously delighted...after convincing himself too that 312 is indeed the venerable toilet, he stated confidently that there is no Abhijit - not just in RP - but in their whole batch as well.... I summoned him downstairs so that he can speak to her…and possibly convince her.... about the non-existence of this non-entity....
By this time, the 311 gentleman too came down...curious to know the ending of all this.... the trio of us...waited for about half an hour…but no she, no her voice, no call...indeed, my mother called and seeing her discomfiture, I had to suspend the plan of going home.... I told her too about the unfolding mystery.... bearing myself the countenance of a Nancy Drew or Sherlock Holmes in the making....
My watch ticked 12:19 ...but no....she did not call.... I told my assistants to patch up...she is not going to call.... I reasoned and told them perspicaciously that she would have got disheartened by my anticipation of her being the mother of a boy.... well, for one, my postulate was not very blunt because I thought since mothers can be young too...well...
I went and told my wise and good friends Nishant and Sumit about the whole thing.... after listening to everything with an admixture of slight surprise and delight, Nishant - the Maths genius - found that there is a unique solution to this problem - and that is...the call was fake.... everything was fake except she.... Sumit supplied the proof: "she told you initially itself that she is not making a blank call...that means that she indeed was making a blank call...."....
"Wow...how come I did not think of that...you are right Sumit...oh man, I missed it"...Sumit laughed and said, in his perennial humorous way..."So Dheep, should I join CBI???"
Ya, that was it, it seems.... I learned a lesson, which my friends as well as parents and brothers and life in general have been trying to teach me strenuously but in vain.... - that I should learn to doubt people and circumstances and not believe anyone or anything unconditionally.... and that was precisely what happened.... I pity my credulousness...
I hope you my dear friends can also learn something from this...- the next time a girl rings you up at midnight, tell her downright that you are mad, lest she proves indeed that you indeed are...sweet dreams...
[End of the article I wrote in October 2003, during my student days at IIT Kharagpur]
So there we go, before we close, here are some quotes on laughter, which I had included in the presentation I gave in 2013, to fellow IIS Officers.
Perhaps I know best why it is man alone who laughs; he alone suffers so deeply that he had to invent laughter - Friedrich Nietzsche.
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter – Mark Twain.
Humour helps us understand that things aren't always as they appear, they can shift shape or form, there are opportunities for change, and we're not trapped by past decisions – Rosabeth Moss Kanter.
If I were given the opportunity to present a gift to the next generation, it would be the ability for each individual to learn to laugh at himself - Chalres M Schulz (American cartoonist).
Let me also share some of our previous references to laughter in One Doubt Please.
How not being listened to is a great privilege.
If we are stranded in the expanse of the Sahara desert or the Amazon Forest or the ruddy surface of Mars, we could probably laugh and cry our heart out, confident in the blissful knowledge that no one is ever going to countenance us or peek into what we had to say?
The ability to laugh at oneself and to laugh with others when they laugh at us is an essential life skill.
It is one of the most singular joys of life to be laughed at by the world at large.
Let me close with the final piece of reflection which I shared with fellow IIS Officers, at the end of my presentation.
How often should a Government make its citizens laugh?
Well, yes, I think there is a lot of potential for the government to use humour in its communications and in governance, more generally. Indeed, we have quite a few examples of the same. And please bear with me for sharing an example where we strove to tap into our people’s creative energies to spread their love for films, during the 53rd edition of the International Film Festival of India.
You can read about this #NotJustIFFIMemeContest here.
Fine then, let us close here for today. You might have noticed that today’s article is perhaps less serious than the usual writings in this #NotJust Newsletter. Well, this raises the question: what makes something less or more serious? Isn’t humour serious? Should we not take humour seriously? And indeed, the question arises, as we have seen already. What makes something humourous?
Do I laugh at your jokes since they are jokes and since you have a good sense of humour, or is it more because I have a good enough sense of humour to laugh at your jokes? And if it is more to do with the people and their sense of humour, is it really correct to call these as “jokes” (in noun form)? Maybe a verb form - of joking - is more appropriate?
And lastly, since this post is largely on laughter (is it?), let me recommend P. G. Wodehouse. Having read just one or two of his ninety-odd books!, I think I cannot recommend him highly enough. And even if it be vain on my part to say so, let me share that one of my nicknames in IIM Lucknow has been “Mr. Wodehouse”, due to the humour which some of my friends find in my writings. Ok thank you for reading, for your precious time and attention, for being here with me. And yes, one reason I was inspired to take a different route today is that today happens to be my birthday. 😊- Dheep.